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Ribs and Rumps, Townsville

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Recently I was down in Townsville and with the trusty Entertainment Book in my clutches I was looking for somewhere for a good feed – and a big feed.  Consulting my brother and his GF, who attends uni down in Townsville I was directed to Ribs and Rumps on Palmer Street.  It just so happened that I was craving big piles of meat on the bone and… my sister and I were staying right on Palmer St.  It seemed like it was meant to be.  I called up Ribs and Rumps and made a booking for 10+ on a Sunday night.  When I called up I asked if we could split the bill and the lady on the phone told me that splitting the bill was not an option as it was too time consuming so we would have to bring cash and pool it towards the total bill at the end or someone could always put it on their credit card.  Yeah no.  I asked her if she would reconsider and I was again told no.  In the end I just hoped for the best and if all else failed I would just play dumb… “I’m so sorry but no one told me that we couldn’t split the bill.  What ever will we do Mr Waiter?”

Anyway, on the drive down to Townsville the day before I received a call confirming my booking for the following night and was asked if we wanted to sit inside or outside.  I consulted the other two people that were with me that were also attending the dinner and confirmed that we would like to sit inside.  Sunday arrived and after a long day of various activities that included stuffing my face with lollies and Subway cookies after a long period of strict dieting I was hanging for Ribs and Rumps.  We arrived at the restaurant only to find our table set up outside on the footpath right next to a young female busker, who may or may not have been affiliated with the restaurant itself.  I’m not quite sure what happened to the INSIDE table that I booked but taking one look inside it looked like there was certainly no room inside as the restaurant was packed full of diners.  And let me just add that the booking I made was over two weeks before.  Enough about the booking let’s move on.

Although I had never heard of it prior to my brother and his GF mentioning it, Ribs and Rumps appears to be a chain restaurant with locations all over Australia as well as in Dubai – a steakhouse famous for it’s legendary ribs, aged-to-perfection steaks and mammoth sized portions.  Legendary ribs?  Yeah we shall see about that.  Being the avid googler that I am I had already stalked the Ribs and Rumps menu online and to save time and to give me something to look forward to in my lengthy time of strict dieting I knew exactly what I was getting.  The menu is pretty much as you would expect it… Burgers, the token Caesar Salad, Ribs, Steaks and combos of Ribs and Steaks.  For an entree I chose the Cheesy Garlic Baguette for AU$6.95 because I hadn’t had cheese or bread for quite some time and the two combined, well, I needed them in my life.  Next up was the main and after weighing up if the excessive price was really worth it knowing full well that I wouldn’t be able to eat much of it I ordered the Ribs, Ribs and Ribs – a mouth-watering combo of tender pork, meaty beef and juicy lamb ribs for AU$49.95.  In the end I couldn’t choose between which type of ribs I wanted so if I had to pay the exorbitant amount of nearly 50 bucks for all three then I figured I might as well.

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While we waited for our dishes to arrive I stopped the waitress and ordered a glass of Sauvignon Blanc to wash it all down.  My glass of wine never turned up so I just stuck to jugs of water.  Meanwhile, our entire table, and probably every single diner seated outside, cringed as the young busker nearby broke into the chorus of Nicki Minaj’s song Superbass.  A song that was never ever, ever meant to be sung along to with nothing but an acoustic guitar and a microphone on a sidewalk in Townsville.  I even considering paying the girl $5 to shut the hell up so we could eat our dinner in peace.  I’m sorry, I know that sounds terrible but so did this busker.

Soon up out came my Cheesy Garlic Baguette.  This Cheesy Garlic Baguette could have very well been the best thing I have ever eaten, or again it could have been the fact that I hadn’t had cheese or bread for quite some time.  But seriously, it was pretty good.  There was lashings of garlic butter and the cheese was stringy and melted and wow.  Just wow.  In hindsight I would have been content with eating about three cheesy garlic breads for the night and then called it quits but not long after that my Ribs, Ribs and Ribs main meal came out.  It was placed down in front of me and I have to admit that I was disappointed with the size.  After paying AU$50 for this meal I was expecting something significantly bigger.  It just looked to me like a big ass white plate with a handful of chips on it and a couple of racks of ribs.  I mean at Waterbar the ribs are expensive but there is at least twice as much on the plate.  I figured that if the ribs were good then I would let the price and the portion size slide so I dug in.

Cheesy Garlic Baguette - AU$6.95

Cheesy Garlic Baguette – AU$6.95

As some of my readers may remember I judge all ribs by the most amazing ribs that I have ever eaten – in a small bar in Nashville, Tennessee called Rippy’s.  These ribs were the ribs of all ribs and I bought the t-shirt to always remember the place.  Sadly, no ribs that I have eaten since then have ever come close to the ribs that I had on that fateful day and the ribs at Ribs and Rumps were no different.  After so much hype and build up from people telling me how good the ribs at Ribs and Rumps were I was severely disappointed.  Someone said they were fall off the bone tender and the sauce that they are basted with was the best part.  What sauce?  All I could taste was the grill.  I’m no stranger to BBQ’d grilled meats but the sauce is where it’s at and I couldn’t taste any.  You want that sh*t running down your face, onto your fingers and onto your awaiting bib.  Not at Ribs and Rumps.  The ribs certainly didn’t fall off the bone especially the beef ribs which were tough as an old boot.  As stated in the menu the lamb ribs were really fatty but again weren’t very tasty.  I ended up filling up on the handful of chips on my plate and gave the majority of the ribs away to the hungry men at my table.

Ribs, Ribs and Ribs - A mouth-watering combo of tender pork, meaty beef and juicy lamb ribs for AU$49.95

Ribs, Ribs and Ribs – A mouth-watering combo of tender pork, meaty beef and juicy lamb ribs for AU$49.95

Myself, my sister and the majority of the others at the table found the meal disappointing.  I thought the food was ordinary but I was disappointed mostly because I had let myself get caught up in the hype of what other people had said and let’s face it who isn’t going to think that a restaurant called ‘Ribs and Rumps’ isn’t going to be anything short of amazing?  I really do think that the rib part of the menu was overpriced.  The majority of people that dine at Ribs and Rumps are going there to order the ribs.  You don’t go somewhere with that kind of name and order a Garden Salad which for arguments sake is a lot more reasonably priced.  At Ribs and Rumps they are definitely capitalising on the ribs and by the look of it it’s working because as I said before the restaurant was absolutely packed out with well over 150 diners on a Sunday night.  The owner must be making a killing!  However, Cairns-ites rest assured, you’re not missing out on anything.  Waterbar is waaaaaay better than Ribs and Rumps and they never forget your glass of wine or stuff up your booking.  Sorry Townsville you haven’t won me over with your promise of delicious meaty ribs, instead all your rocks and dryness just make me feel miserable.  I still think the only thing that you have going for you is the drive out of your town and yeah ok, you have Betty Blue and the Lemon Tart.  I’ll give you that.

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Ribs and Rumps

2 Dibbs St (entrance to Palmer St), Townsville QLD 4810

Ph: (07) 4721 6088

Opening Hours: Mon – Fri 12pm – 3pm, 5pm – 10pm, Sat & Sun 12pm – 10pm

Website: www.ribsandrumps,com

The Green Ant Cantina, Cairns

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Tuesday night is usually cheat meal night for MS and I so we racked our brains all day to think of somewhere to go or more importantly something that we wanted to eat. I know this whole dieting and cheat meal crap probably sounds like a load of wank but it’s something that has to be done for the time being. I’m certainly not going to be giving up eating and/or writing about food that’s for sure. But, a word of warning… For the next few months you will probably see that the majority of my posts are going to be about foods that aren’t exactly healthy. Not all of them, but yeah most of them. Having said that I do have a couple of healthier posts in the pipeline. So yeah like I said we racked out brains all day about where we should go for dinner. Did we want pasta? No. Pizza? No. Fish and chips? No. Steak? No. Did we want to go to Fetta’s? No. Anyway after trolling the menus of a couple of restaurants online I came up with a bonza idea that would satisfy both MS’ craving for something big and meaty (haha) and my craving for… well anything with cheese on it. That is when we decided on the Green Ant Cantina.

Now I have already done a post for the Green Ant (as it’s known by locals) about a year and a half ago but I am going to do another one, firstly because I have written about nearly three quarters of the restaurants in Cairns already and am running out of ideas so some are bound to come around for a second write up sooner or later (please don’t bombard me with ideas because I know there are still plenty to write about, it was a joke). And secondly because MS and I were on the back end of our Melbourne Cup celebrations that particular night so I’ll be damned if I could remember much about the place, apart from what I wrote down.

When we arrived we were greeted by a friendly blonde barmaid who said we could sit anywhere we liked although the area out the back wasn’t opened because there wasn’t enough people in the restaurant to fill it. The barmaid informed us that if more people turned up then she would open it up but for now we were confined to the front area and inside adjacent to the bar. We were happy to sit at one of the roomy booths inside and set up shop at the closest one to the bar. I did notice that the chair part of the booth was a little bit far away from the table which for someone who is 5 foot nothing like me is a little annoying especially considering I drop food and drink on myself at the best of times. It wasn’t a problem however for 6 foot something MS who didn’t seem to mind.

The waitress brought over a couple of menus for us to look over and took our drink order. Although I rarely drink I did feel like a glass of white wine and asked the waitress if they had any Sauvignon Blanc. I couldn’t see a drinks menu so I trusted her to do the right thing by me but made sure she wasn’t going to fetch me a glass of house wine. MS ordered a Green Ant Cider to wet his whistle and we continued looking over the menu. Being the fatties that we were feeling like on this particular night we decided that we would both get an entree and a main each. The best thing about this whole cheat meal thing apart from the obvious (another joke) is that I can get whatever I like on the menu. Normally when I was just eating, ummm normally, I would look for a healthy-ish option on the menu instead of the really mouth watering-ly fatty ones that I really wanted. Not now, oh no. Now I want the biggest, fattiest, cheesiest thing with the most carbs that I can find (oh god I hope my trainer doesn’t know about this blog).

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Although there was a little encouragement from the waitress to try the “Wings of Death” which are chicken wings “doused in secret sauces from the hottest chillies known to man” MS and I opted for a couple of tastier sounding entrees. Plus a free beer and my name on the wall doesn’t particularly float my boat since I have seen video footage of someone eating these things and it really wasn’t pretty. MS and I were at the Green Ant to enjoy our meals not cry over them. Well hopefully not anyway. So after looking over the entree menu MS couldn’t go past the Pork Belly Taquitos for AU$15. They are described on the menu as ‘Crispy fried tortillas stuffed with Mexican style shredded pork belly and served with sour cream’. Sounds amazing to me and I was glad that he chose them because it was something that I was more than happy to share. Having developed a recent craving for ‘fake’ tasting cheese (I could smash a box of Easy Mac I really could) I chose the Chilli Con Queso Dip – Warm Mexican cheese dip with herbs and spices served with toasted corn chips for AU$14.

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Next up for the mains true to form MS just can’t go past anything that has chorizo in it so he chose the Choice Chorizo Quesadilla – Grilled 12″ flour tortilla folded and stuffed with chorizo, spinach, spanish onion, capsicum and cheese served with fresh tomato salsa, aioli and fresh lime on the side for AU$25. Myself? Well I stopped reading after the Chilli Cheese Fries. Everything on the menu sounded great but this… well, this was in a field of it’s own. It reads as ‘A mountain of famous chunky chips topped with our Texan style chilli con carne slow cooked for 8 hours, made with diced rump steak and a dash of Jack Daniel’s, oven baked with melted cheese and served with sour cream’ for AU$25. Ay caramba!

There was probably only about 30 people in the place, most of which were only there for a few quiet drinks so we got our entrees pretty quickly. After a couple of photos we dug into the Pork Belly Taquitos, dipping them in a bit of chilli sauce and then sour cream. They were ok. After the description on the menu I was expecting a lot more and these things sort of resembled samosas more than a taquito. They were almost certainly pre-made and then tossed in the deep fryer for a little bit too long since they were overcooked and a little too crispy. They were also very… flavourless I guess is the word I am looking for. Also the sour cream seemed like it had been watered down a bit. It wasn’t thick and creamy like sour cream should be but more watery and tasteless. Disappointing and not what we were expecting. I had a couple of taquitos while MS wolfed down the rest.

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Pork Belly Taquitos – Crispy fried tortillas stuffed with Mexican style shredded pork belly and served with sour cream (AU$15)

The Chilli Con Queso Dip was still nothing spectacular although we ate the lot – we were so hungry! The dip just wasn’t cheesy enough. It was a good sized serve with a good amount of corn chips (probably should have been more) but it wasn’t all I had imagined it to be. Like the sour cream it was also a little runny and not thick enough for a dip. I was sad I didn’t get the fake cheese flavour that I had so desired (or any cheese flavour for that matter). Here’s hoping the mains were a bit better!

Chilli Con Queso Dip - Warm Mexican cheese dip with herbs and spices served with toasted corn chips (AU$14)

Chilli Con Queso Dip – Warm Mexican cheese dip with herbs and spices served with toasted corn chips (AU$14)

Our mains arrived about 10 minutes after our entrees dishes were cleared. The waitress asked if there was anything more that she could get for us (there wasn’t) and left us alone with our food. MS’ Chorizo Quesadilla was about the same size as his dinner plate and cut into three fat portions. He squeezed a bit of lime over the top (I’m assuming that’s what you do with it) and hoed into it dipping each forkful into his aioli as he went. Apparently it was exactly what the cheat doctor ordered because he absolutely destroyed it (that’s my way of saying demolished). In fact he even said that he could have eaten another one it was that good. It left him rather full though so he probably couldn’t have fitted another one in. I tasted a bite of it and it was delicious although I didn’t like the capsicum inside, that’s just me though.

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Choice Chorizo Quesadilla – Grilled 12″ flour tortilla folded and stuffed with chorizo, spinach, spanish onion, capsicum and cheese served with fresh tomato salsa, aioli and fresh lime on the side (AU$25)

My Chilli Cheese Fries were enormous. I felt like a total pig when it was placed in front of me but also secretly thanked myself for ordering it. The thick cut chips were perfect having been baked in the oven till they had just the right amount of crisp on them. The slow cooked pieces of beef were delicious although a little few and far between. They may have been hidden underneath since I didn’t get very far. I was in Chilli Cheese Fry heaven but unfortunately only got through about a third of it before I was stuffed. Maybe it was the large plate of Chilli Con Queso Dip, corn chips and the taquito that I had eaten prior or maybe it was the fact that I am not used to eating that kind of food. I only wish that I had ordered some guacamole on the side because that would have been the cherry on top. It was everything that I though it would be. Pure unadulterated carby goodness.

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Chilli Cheese Fries – A mountain of famous chunky chips topped with our Texan style chilli con carne slow cooked for 8 hours, made with diced rump steak and a dash of Jack Daniel’s, oven baked with melted cheese and served with sour cream (AU$25)

So the mains had come through with the goods and saved our very ordinary entrees. In the grand scheme of things if we did it all over again I think MS and I would just order the mains on their own because they are certainly enough food but on this occasion our eyes were too big for our stomachs. We had a most enjoyable meal on what was a nice quiet night at the Green Ant Cantina. There are some really yummy dishes on the menu and although I do think that some of them are slightly overpriced (it is a backpacker hangout after all) they are all pretty large serves. I remember they used to do a 2-4-1 locals deal with all main meals but this seems to be only for steaks now which is a bit of a shame but I haven’t tried their steaks yet (check out my dinner page for more info here). The service was friendly and maybe a slightly overbearing but that could also be because we were seated so close to the bar and cash register. The atmosphere is laid back and chilled out during the week but picks up a little bit over the weekend so if you want a quiet(ish) meal then head there between Mon and Thursday. If you think you are all tough and reckon you could destroy a plate of the “Wings of Death” and get your name on the wall then be my guest. Just don’t blame me when you are a snotty, drooling mess by the end of your dinner. They don’t just serve Mexican food and eye-wateringly hot chicken wings at the Green Ant, there is also burgers (a world famous Kangaroo Burger apparently), salads and some sh*t hot sounding desserts. Stoner’s Delight with chocolate fudge brownies and Kahlua chocolate sauce anyone? *wipes away drool*

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Green Ant Cantina

183 Bunda St, Cairns QLD 4870

Ph: (07) 4041 5061

Opening Hours: Mon – Sat from 4pm till 12am

Website: greenantcantina.com