Foodvixen’s 15 Commandments By Which You Will Be Judged…

The truth is that I dine out a sh*tload and there are a few things that get on my goat when I do. Some are just personal preferences but others go without saying. I’m not demanding and bossy (that’s what one of my work colleagues told me a couple of days ago) I just know what I want and if I pay good money for it then why the hell shouldn’t I get it?

1. The person taking the order should know the menu – If you are getting paid a wage to work at the restaurant/cafe/dining establishment then you should know exactly what is being sold there down to whether or not there is anchovies in the Chicken Caesar Salad. Enough said.

2. One should smile upon giving service – There is nothing worse than having a miserable and mean person serving you. Good service is usually what people remember. If you go out for a meal and the food is mediocre but the service is excellent chances are you will come back. If you go out for a meal and the food is outstanding but the service is terrible you probably won’t.

3. Poached eggs should always be runny – Please don’t hard boil my poached eggs. If I wanted hard boiled eggs with my meal then I would ask for them and usually if I do eat hard boiled eggs I eat the white and give the yolk to my dad if he’s around (hey what are dad’s for?).

4. Seafood should always be sourced locally or at least in Australia (when available) – Please don’t support imported seafood. Not only is it poor quality compared to our own (cue Vannamei prawns yuck!), we should be supporting Australian fisheries.

5. Wait staff should know off the top of their head where the seafood comes from -Maybe this is just something that bugs me and my family I don’t know but it’s kinda the same as knowing what’s on the menu. If I ask where the oysters are from the waiter/waitress shouldn’t have to go and ask the chef. Even worse when the chef doesn’t even know (*ahem* Mondo).

6. Split bills should not be frowned upon – Come on this is 2012 people. I understand that there is an extra credit card surcharge incurred or something like that but for those paying cash or by eftpos is hell really going to freeze over if my friends and I try to split the bill? It’s just makes dining out with friends and large groups so much easier (kudos to the restaurants that do it already – Barnacle Bills, Waterbar and Grill and Dundees to name a few).

7. Sauce should not cost extra – It sucks when you order fish and chips and the fish and chip shop expects you to pay 25c each for those little squirty things of tomato or tartare sauce that always seem to explode everywhere but on my piece of fish. Fish and chips is already well overpriced these days. Surely you can just provide the sauce at no extra price in those big squirty bottles for those dining in? If you order a steak from a restaurant the sauce should be included in the price. Paying $35 for a steak is pricey enough without having to pay an extra $2.50 for Red Wine Jus. PS: Yes I am a sauce lover.

8. If certain foods are not available then diners should be made aware of this before they try to order their meal – There is nothing worse than umming and ahhing over a menu only to finally choose whatever it is you want and then having the waiter/waitress tell you that there isn’t any left. Maybe you should make sure you have enough avocados before you open for Sunday brunch or that you have enough Steak for diners on a Saturday night (especially if your establishment is nextdoor to a butcher). Just saying.

9. Butter should be on the side – This is a personal one really. I always forget to ask for no butter when I order my meal (usually breakfast) and get super annoyed when my toast comes out already buttered. I noticed at Beethoven’s they are starting a no butter movement and automatically serving their sandwiches with no butter unless you ask for it. Bravo!

10. If dining somewhere nice you should only be served by one waiter/waitress. Not three – It really sucks when you go to a restaurant and get served and waited on by the entire fleet of waiters. I’m pretty sure that good hospitality requires one to work one section and one section only. Stick to that section dammit.

11. A jug/bottle of water is a given– You know how nice it is when you dine out and a bottle of water and some glasses just gets bought to your table and you don’t have to ask. To me this sets the standard for the entire meal. Ahhh.

12. Tables should be wiped down – You shouldn’t have to get up and ask for the leftovers and chunks of someone elses meal to be removed from your table. Do I really need to say anymore? (*cough* Lilypad *cough*)

14. Meals should be brought out together – Don’t serve someone at the table 10 minutes before everyone else. It’s rude.

15. People arriving after you should get their food after you – Again, this one goes without saying. There is nothing more frustrating than having people that arrived well after you getting served their meals before you. There’s an invisible line people!

I could really go on forever here but I won’t. Anyone else got some pet peeves for dining out?

Posted on August 27, 2012, in Cairns and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 16 Comments.

  1. Fantastic Post!!

  2. I love this list! Especially #11 & #15!! Absolutely gives me the willies when people get food before me when they ordered after me…

  3. I’m with you on the seafood. I can’t stand those imported prawns and I will only order prawns now if it says they’re local on the menu….I have to give a shout out to the Singapore Noodle Hut, their seafood is always delicious (I’m pretty sure they use local prawns) and their noodles are yummy!!

  4. Essence of Good Taste

    Yes, yes, yes! #16 Frigg’n serve the coffee HOT. Hate cold coffee. If I wanted cold I’d have ordered Iced Coffee 🙂 PS Heard on the grapevine Bang has closed it’s doors… confirmation anyone?

  5. More all time peeves –

    Seating – When there are only a few diners, don’t sit diners all in one section, I both don’t want our conversation broadcast to the other tables and I don’t want to hear what Mr Balding Businessman on the table to my left thinks about the rise in crude oil prices or what ever floats his boat…..

    Online Menus – If you invest the time to have your menu online then update it when it is updated in the restaurant. I hate reading online menus to help us decide where to dine, becoming fixated on an amazing sounding dish and thus turning up looking forward to this meal only to find a completely different menu!

    Attitude when you have a Coupon – In theory, Restaurants use coupons to get customers to try their food and hope that they will be impressed to come back and pay full price. So why then do some restaurants feel the need to treat the couponing customers with distaste and contempt or place ridiculous conditions on the coupons (i.e. must dine at 3pm on the second Tuesday of the month….over the top I know but I do hate the “each diner must purchase a full priced beverage/entree/dessert condition)

  6. Thank you foodvixen… I’m so glad it is not just me who thinks it is reasonable to expect all of the above as a starting premise for a good dining experience!

  7. I had to share my experience for lunch at Wink 2 today as I was very impressed….You get two courses with a glass of wine for $24.95 and it’s well presented good quality food. The location is great and service was excellent. We have so many restaurants in Cairns that come and go but I hope this one stays around for along time – I’m already planning when I can go there again!

    • Wink 2 has some great lunch and dinner courses. Leon has worked in Michelin Star restaurants and cooks some amazing meals. If you go for dinner make sure you try the Beef Cheeks. I am pretty sure they just started a $15 express lunch menu from Mon – Fri but I will have to check that one. I hope they stick around too 🙂

  8. Hey Vix My Mega-Peeve ….What is it with salads? I don’t get this, it’s happened seemingly too many times to mention here in CNS but also on recent interstate trips….salad delivered without with some utensils to dish it out with…and an indignant response when asking for them….? Huh?

  9. 12. Tables should be wiped down – how correct you are to mention Lilypad under this entree. Went there for the first time in a long while a week or so back. Food great and plentiful as always but the tables were disgusting. And not just the tables. I pulled out a chair to sit down on and it had a slab of bacon resting on it! I went to ask for someone to come and clean table down and was met with very very frosty woman who sighed and followed me out and waved a dirty rag around. Arghhh

    • Carol you have pretty much summed up my next post in a paragraph 😀 The tables are absolutely filthy the majority of the time but we continue to go back because the food is good… Argh!

  10. My shocker one was when I went to a restaurant that ran out of what I’d ordered last time. I made a point the next time to ask whether it was in stock. ‘Do you have any sticky date pudding today?’ ‘Yes there is’ ‘Well can you please make sure there’s one for me, because I definitely want it for desert’
    Out comes my desert..looks like chocolate pudding. ‘Is this sticky date?’ ‘Yes it is!’ I took a bite. no it is NOT. Ask again..the waitress goes back to ask the chef after all. ‘Oh sorry, no we’re out’.
    Why not tell me that you’re out? I did not order Chocolate, don’t decide my menu for me and then tell me it’s something that it’s not! A customer believe it or not, CAN tell the difference between sticky date and chocolate!
    Third no-no: all at the same restaurant..the ice cream on the side had a fly on it. I pointed out all the problems-this was not what I ordered, there’s a fly in here. They took it back. and Then gave me the exact same dish back with a new scoop of ice cream! I was appalled.

  11. I think you should definitely name and shame this restaurant Sweet Baby Blue 😛

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