The truth is that I dine out a sh*tload and there are a few things that get on my goat when I do. Some are just personal preferences but others go without saying. I’m not demanding and bossy (that’s what one of my work colleagues told me a couple of days ago) I just know what I want and if I pay good money for it then why the hell shouldn’t I get it?

1. The person taking the order should know the menu – If you are getting paid a wage to work at the restaurant/cafe/dining establishment then you should know exactly what is being sold there down to whether or not there is anchovies in the Chicken Caesar Salad. Enough said.

2. One should smile upon giving service – There is nothing worse than having a miserable and mean person serving you. Good service is usually what people remember. If you go out for a meal and the food is mediocre but the service is excellent chances are you will come back. If you go out for a meal and the food is outstanding but the service is terrible you probably won’t.

3. Poached eggs should always be runny – Please don’t hard boil my poached eggs. If I wanted hard boiled eggs with my meal then I would ask for them and usually if I do eat hard boiled eggs I eat the white and give the yolk to my dad if he’s around (hey what are dad’s for?).

4. Seafood should always be sourced locally or at least in Australia (when available) – Please don’t support imported seafood. Not only is it poor quality compared to our own (cue Vannamei prawns yuck!), we should be supporting Australian fisheries.

5. Wait staff should know off the top of their head where the seafood comes from -Maybe this is just something that bugs me and my family I don’t know but it’s kinda the same as knowing what’s on the menu. If I ask where the oysters are from the waiter/waitress shouldn’t have to go and ask the chef. Even worse when the chef doesn’t even know (*ahem* Mondo).

6. Split bills should not be frowned upon – Come on this is 2012 people. I understand that there is an extra credit card surcharge incurred or something like that but for those paying cash or by eftpos is hell really going to freeze over if my friends and I try to split the bill? It’s just makes dining out with friends and large groups so much easier (kudos to the restaurants that do it already – Barnacle Bills, Waterbar and Grill and Dundees to name a few).

7. Sauce should not cost extra – It sucks when you order fish and chips and the fish and chip shop expects you to pay 25c each for those little squirty things of tomato or tartare sauce that always seem to explode everywhere but on my piece of fish. Fish and chips is already well overpriced these days. Surely you can just provide the sauce at no extra price in those big squirty bottles for those dining in? If you order a steak from a restaurant the sauce should be included in the price. Paying $35 for a steak is pricey enough without having to pay an extra $2.50 for Red Wine Jus. PS: Yes I am a sauce lover.

8. If certain foods are not available then diners should be made aware of this before they try to order their meal – There is nothing worse than umming and ahhing over a menu only to finally choose whatever it is you want and then having the waiter/waitress tell you that there isn’t any left. Maybe you should make sure you have enough avocados before you open for Sunday brunch or that you have enough Steak for diners on a Saturday night (especially if your establishment is nextdoor to a butcher). Just saying.

9. Butter should be on the side – This is a personal one really. I always forget to ask for no butter when I order my meal (usually breakfast) and get super annoyed when my toast comes out already buttered. I noticed at Beethoven’s they are starting a no butter movement and automatically serving their sandwiches with no butter unless you ask for it. Bravo!

10. If dining somewhere nice you should only be served by one waiter/waitress. Not three – It really sucks when you go to a restaurant and get served and waited on by the entire fleet of waiters. I’m pretty sure that good hospitality requires one to work one section and one section only. Stick to that section dammit.

11. A jug/bottle of water is a given– You know how nice it is when you dine out and a bottle of water and some glasses just gets bought to your table and you don’t have to ask. To me this sets the standard for the entire meal. Ahhh.

12. Tables should be wiped down – You shouldn’t have to get up and ask for the leftovers and chunks of someone elses meal to be removed from your table. Do I really need to say anymore? (*cough* Lilypad *cough*)

14. Meals should be brought out together – Don’t serve someone at the table 10 minutes before everyone else. It’s rude.

15. People arriving after you should get their food after you – Again, this one goes without saying. There is nothing more frustrating than having people that arrived well after you getting served their meals before you. There’s an invisible line people!

I could really go on forever here but I won’t. Anyone else got some pet peeves for dining out?